How to experience the mindbody as integrated

In Sarno's latest book, The Divided Mind, he includes stories from some of his pyschotherapists. In one story, the therapist is seeking to help the patient experience the mindbody as integrated. This seems so elusive to me...so I have been pondering it in the hope of making progress along these lines. One thing this therapist listens for from his patients are defenses that protect the patient from feeling uncomfortable, painful emotions. Here are examples of some of those defenses:

1. After describing a painful event or emotion, the person chuckles as if to brush it off.
2. When describing painful events or emotions, the person uses buffer words or phrases (probably, maybe, sort of, etc.).
3. And again, when describing painful events or emotions, reverting to the third person. ('One would feel angry when such a thing happens')

First of all, I know that I have done and continue to do all three. Many times I put a humorous twist to emotionally wrenching stories. And I know I am full of buffer words. But here is what the therapist says he does when he hears such a defense. He gently stops the person and points it out...and allows the person to fully feel whatever emotion s/he was describing in the moment. It is at this moment, when the defenses are down and the person can feel fully that there is the possiblity of mindbody integration.

So I have started paying attention to my defenses and buffers. I started by rereading my journal and circling all of the buffer words. I also pay attention to my 'self talk'. I'm not perfect, but this is start in the right direction.

Where to find Sarno books/DVD

The website with Dr. Sarno's books and DVD can be found at: www.healingbackpain.com

Here are the books to read:

1. Healing Back Pain – The Mind-Body Connection

2. The Mindbody Prescription (I believe Sarno specifically mentions SD as an 'equivalent' in this book)

3. A more recent book, The Divided Mind is good too, but it is written for medical practitioners. I found it to be a good 'reinforcement'.

I suggest reading The Mindbody Prescription first and if it resonates for you, read one or both of his other books plus view the video. You don't have to read more than one book, but I found it helpful as a way to reinforce his concepts.

You can also order his books at Amazon.com, but the DVD is only available at his site. The DVD includes a workbook which you might find helpful too. Also note that you can get his lecture in VHS format for much less than the DVD.

Fluctuations of symptoms

Something important to keep in mind is that the symptoms (back pain or SD) will fluctuate over time. In other words, one day I would wake up with minimal pain or my voice would sound wonderful, and then the next day one or both would be worse! So don't be deterred by 'bad days'.

Use the symptom as a 'cue' to focus on the emotional and don't get caught up in the fluctuations. Know that over time, they will subside. Also know that this process is something that is a part of you and you will always be vulnerable to feeling these symptoms. I look at them as a 'gift' because they are signals to me to pay attention to my emotions.

Why is this diagnosis so difficult to accept?

In one of his books, Sarno states that only about 10 to 15% of people with a mind-body related disorder can actually accept this as the diagnosis. On the face of it, the diagnosis seems so simple and people should be glad to know there is a 'cure'. But there is a strong, deeply embedded need to believe that external factors cause pain or SD. External factors are out of our control...in other words, it's not my fault.

If we are to accept the mind-body diagnosis, then we have, in a sense, 'done it to ourselves'. But that conclusion would be a misperception of how the mind-body syndrome works. We don't make ourselves sick or disabled. Everything is happening in the unconscious and the symptoms are induced by the autonomic system...it's automatic and not under our conscious control. Yet, paradoxically, just having this knowledge and understanding of the mind-body process is enough to stop the symptoms!

Let me tell you a story about the difficulty of accepting this diagnosis. A few years back I went to an NSDA conference to hear Diane Rehm speak. While there, I connected with another woman who told me how SD had totally changed her life. She told me that she used to be a sales person under a lot of stress having to make sales calls and meet her quota. After she developed SD, she could no longer present herself in a confident enough manner to make sales calls. So she became a librarian.

As I listened to her story, I could hear that she hated her sales job and was really happy now as a librarian. At the same time, however, she felt guilty because you don't make as much money as a librarian. In a flash of insight, I saw that she 'needed' SD in order to make a life choice that otherwise she would not have been able to justify. It was more acceptable and less threatening to blame SD for having to make this choice.

I don't intend to be harsh and judgmental here...I'll be the first to acknowledge that I let SD be my excuse for doing or not doing a lot of things. But my point here is that 'blaming the symptoms' is no longer viable if one accepts that SD is a mind-body condition and that we can overcome it. If I overcome SD, what is my excuse for choosing not to speak up? For withdrawing from dialogue and interactions with others? Maybe the answers to those questions are harder to face than an injection of Botox.

Let me assure you...the answers to those questions are hard. I had and continue to come face to face with deep feelings of inferiority which result in a compulsive need to be competent (perfect) and 'right' all the time. I had and continue to manage the anger, rage, and defensiveness that threaten to boil over when I am challenged. But this is the path of adulthood, enlightenment and wisdom. And as the commercial for Strivectin states, it's 'Better than Botox'!

Some helpful tips!

Buying into Sarno's approach requires 'reprogramming' of how one thinks about illness, health, and the relationship between the mind and the body. There is no other way to put it. We have been and continue to be 'programmed' by the medical establishment and by everything around us. Just watch the commericals about 'Requip' for restless leg syndrome and the latest drug for fybromyalgia (both of which are probably 'equivalents' to use Sarno's term). We are bombarded constantly with images that promote a 'mechanical' view of our bodies with parts that need to be fixed. This mechanical view leads us to define depression as a chemical imbalance without asking what causes the chemical imbalance in the first place?

So here are some things that have helped me to really integrate and reinforce Sarno's approach into the way I think.

1. I did purchase his video which is a recording of his 2-hour lecture that he calls the 'treatment'. While it is not much more than him standing at a screen lecturing to a group of people with back pain...it is very effective in communicating and educating. If you are a visual learner, watching this video is a must.

2. I watched this video the first time in 30 minute 'chunks' while I was on the treadmill (killing 2 birds with one stone!). I also watch it again every few weeks or whenever I feel like I'm losing the 'heart' of what he is saying.

3. I downloaded three of his books onto my Sony e-Reader and I read some portion of one of these books every day. Yes...every day. Let's face it, the commercials on TV, the ads in newspapers, the way people talk to you about their illnesses...all of these tend to reinforce the 'mechanistic' way of thinking. Re-reading his book helps to keep perspective.

4. Writing this blog is another way to help me. It is an opportunity (and a challenge) for me translate what he is saying into my own words.

5. And finally, I journal everyday about emotional triggers. There is something about putting pen to paper that also has value.

Trying to verbally explain this to other people is also a good way to reinforce this learning. However, I haven't yet figured out how to explain it without people looking at me like I have lost my mind ... which is ironic since in reality, I have found my mind!

The post that gets no respect!

Following is the post that I put on the SD online support group bulletin board. While a lot of people have contacted me 'offline', everyone on the BB dismisses it.

Hi All,
This is a post for those of you who are open to the possibility that SD has a psychological facet. Here is my story. I was diagnosed with AD SD in 2002 (by a well known SD physician in NY) after struggling with a strangled voice since 1995. After the diagnosis I had several injections of Botox and while I found some relief, the loss of voice at the beginning and end of the 'bell curve' was more than I could handle given my profession (consultant and facilitator for Fortune 100 companies). I also saw how I was becoming obessesed with the condition (on the BB for hours, searching the web for alternatives, paying for and practicing relaxation, breathing, and vocal techniques for hours...)so I decided I would just live with it (hey, Diane Rehm and Robert Kennedy Jr can do it! Why not me?). In fact, I was inspired to make this shift after hearing Diane Rehm speak at the SD Symposium in Washington DC. She said 'You are not your voice'. I strongly disagreed at the time, but came to realize that I couldn't let this condition rule my life.

Shortly after I decided to 'just live with it', I developed severe carpal tunnel and then back and shoulder pain. In retrospect, I see how I simply shifted my obsession with my SD to these maladies in the exact same way (physical therapy, acupuncture, yoga, Alexander Technique, pilates, etc....). All of these approaches treat the symptoms. And I was never convinced that stress caused any of the symptoms (SD, Carpal tunnel, and back pain included). Like a lot of you, I could be on vacation, not working at the computer for days, or have a non stressful day and find my back in pain and my voice strangled.

In my quest for back pain relief, I came across a school of thought that suggests all of these 'symptoms' (SD included) can be psychosomatic. Not in the sense that it is all in your head...the pain and the strangled voice are indeed real! But in the same way our 'autonomic' brain sends adrenalin during a 'fight or flight' situation, so does the autonomic brain, when it senses a psychological threat (eg: situations that trigger emotions that threaten our very self image) send signals to diminish blood flow to muscles, tendons and nerves thereby causing these symptoms. This process is the 'minds' way of distracting and thereby protecing us from having to consciously deal with the unconscious emotions that have been triggered. The good news is that knowledge of this process and believing that the symptoms are psychosomatic is enough to end it. Sounds kind of weird...but no more weird than being told my strangled voice was a neurological problem (medicine speak for we don't know what causes it...but here, inject this Botox into your vocal cords and it will stop it temporarily).

I consider myself living proof that SD can be psychosomatic. I have no back pain and do not consider myself as having SD anymore. I would be happy to share more if anyone is interested.

Best regards and a Happy and Healthy New Year to all.

How long it took to overcome SD

Although it was really a 'process' not an 'event', I would say it took between 4 to 6 weeks for me to overcome SD. I initially started using Dr. Sarno's approach for back pain. So I wasn't really focused on my voice. My back pain started to melt away almost immediately...but there was still deep muscle soreness that eventually and slowly diminished a little each day. I would just notice that the pain was less and as it did I became more confident doing Yoga and other physical things. During this time I started to notice my voice would sound 'normal' for extended conversation. So I made the connection that SD was an equivalent for me as are my migraines and GERD.

I was and still am diligent in focusing on emotions when any of this physical stuff comes up for me (e.g. I pull out a sheet of paper and start writing about what things trigger rage for me). Let me point out here that over the years I have been to numerous doctors for all of my physical ailments and 'menopausal' symptoms. There is nothing wrong with me. Period. And I encourage anyone reading this to make sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is nothing wrong with you either before using Dr. Sarno's approach. He explains it much better than I can, so please read one of his books! Meanwhile, I can also include insomnia, night sweats, and carpal tunnel on my list of physical equivalents. All of these problems have and continue to get better. I wish this for you too!