In Sarno's latest book, The Divided Mind, he includes stories from some of his pyschotherapists. In one story, the therapist is seeking to help the patient experience the mindbody as integrated. This seems so elusive to me...so I have been pondering it in the hope of making progress along these lines. One thing this therapist listens for from his patients are defenses that protect the patient from feeling uncomfortable, painful emotions. Here are examples of some of those defenses:
1. After describing a painful event or emotion, the person chuckles as if to brush it off.
2. When describing painful events or emotions, the person uses buffer words or phrases (probably, maybe, sort of, etc.).
3. And again, when describing painful events or emotions, reverting to the third person. ('One would feel angry when such a thing happens')
First of all, I know that I have done and continue to do all three. Many times I put a humorous twist to emotionally wrenching stories. And I know I am full of buffer words. But here is what the therapist says he does when he hears such a defense. He gently stops the person and points it out...and allows the person to fully feel whatever emotion s/he was describing in the moment. It is at this moment, when the defenses are down and the person can feel fully that there is the possiblity of mindbody integration.
So I have started paying attention to my defenses and buffers. I started by rereading my journal and circling all of the buffer words. I also pay attention to my 'self talk'. I'm not perfect, but this is start in the right direction.