Following is the post that I put on the SD online support group bulletin board. While a lot of people have contacted me 'offline', everyone on the BB dismisses it.
Hi All,
This is a post for those of you who are open to the possibility that SD has a psychological facet. Here is my story. I was diagnosed with AD SD in 2002 (by a well known SD physician in NY) after struggling with a strangled voice since 1995. After the diagnosis I had several injections of Botox and while I found some relief, the loss of voice at the beginning and end of the 'bell curve' was more than I could handle given my profession (consultant and facilitator for Fortune 100 companies). I also saw how I was becoming obessesed with the condition (on the BB for hours, searching the web for alternatives, paying for and practicing relaxation, breathing, and vocal techniques for hours...)so I decided I would just live with it (hey, Diane Rehm and Robert Kennedy Jr can do it! Why not me?). In fact, I was inspired to make this shift after hearing Diane Rehm speak at the SD Symposium in Washington DC. She said 'You are not your voice'. I strongly disagreed at the time, but came to realize that I couldn't let this condition rule my life.
Shortly after I decided to 'just live with it', I developed severe carpal tunnel and then back and shoulder pain. In retrospect, I see how I simply shifted my obsession with my SD to these maladies in the exact same way (physical therapy, acupuncture, yoga, Alexander Technique, pilates, etc....). All of these approaches treat the symptoms. And I was never convinced that stress caused any of the symptoms (SD, Carpal tunnel, and back pain included). Like a lot of you, I could be on vacation, not working at the computer for days, or have a non stressful day and find my back in pain and my voice strangled.
In my quest for back pain relief, I came across a school of thought that suggests all of these 'symptoms' (SD included) can be psychosomatic. Not in the sense that it is all in your head...the pain and the strangled voice are indeed real! But in the same way our 'autonomic' brain sends adrenalin during a 'fight or flight' situation, so does the autonomic brain, when it senses a psychological threat (eg: situations that trigger emotions that threaten our very self image) send signals to diminish blood flow to muscles, tendons and nerves thereby causing these symptoms. This process is the 'minds' way of distracting and thereby protecing us from having to consciously deal with the unconscious emotions that have been triggered. The good news is that knowledge of this process and believing that the symptoms are psychosomatic is enough to end it. Sounds kind of weird...but no more weird than being told my strangled voice was a neurological problem (medicine speak for we don't know what causes it...but here, inject this Botox into your vocal cords and it will stop it temporarily).
I consider myself living proof that SD can be psychosomatic. I have no back pain and do not consider myself as having SD anymore. I would be happy to share more if anyone is interested.
Best regards and a Happy and Healthy New Year to all.
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Hi Lynn!
I followed your link to the blog. It looks good. I think I'll visit often as a reminder that I can get better.
Thanks for posting this info. It's absolutely fascinating and inspiring.
I've got a blog too, and though I do talk about SD it's not exclusively about my voice disorder. My experiences are similar to yours although I have had great relief with botox. I lived with SD for quite a while and searched high and low for a way to deal with it before resorting to botox. Still I'd prefer to be SD free and not have to depend on botox for a voice.
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